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10/28/15

In Translation: October Fiction and Poetry

It’s finally October, so obviously you’re thinking about upcoming works in translation and what to get me for my birthday (wait, it’s also Halloween and pumpkin spice latte season??). Anyway, here’s some eye-catching fiction and poetry from Curaçao, Italy, Moravia, and Indonesia for you to check out. BTW, Home is currently sitting on top of my TBR pile, patiently waiting while I read Toni Sala’s intriguing novel The Boys (Two Lines Press). Looking forward to it!


maruggThe Roar of Morning by Tip Marugg, translated by Paul Vincent (Yale University Press, 144 pages, October 20; Series: The Margellos World Republic of Letters)

Caribbean mysticism meets Latin American magical realism meets Dutch colonial Calvinism?? SIGN ME UP. In this highly acclaimed work by Dutch-Caribbean author Tip Marugg, one man spends the night thinking over his past in Curaçao and Venezuela before his planned morning suicide (makes me think of The Floating Opera). Colonialism, sexual awakening, and illness plague his memories, and promise us a captivating read.

An Absolutely Serious Analysis of THE TALE OF PETER RABBIT

peterrabbitHave you ever read Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Peter Rabbit to your child? Yes??

Come here. Sit down. We need to talk.

I’m sorry, but your child is now forever scarred. He/she will either grow up to be horribly traumatized by bunnies or become a bunny-killer. It’s inevitable. That cute little white tail, those cute ears- yeah, not so much.

BUT THIS IS JUST A HARMLESS CHILDREN’S BOOK! I hear you say.

YOU’RE READING TOO MUCH INTO IT! I also hear you say.

But answer me this. Which rabbits do you know who dress up in jackets and shoes? What kind of rabbit has a name? Exactly.

Reading Across Italy

Italy: the birthplace of opera and home of outrageously yummy food. But, of course, this country that is shaped like a boot kicking a ball also produces some fantastic literature. I mean, Dante and Boccaccio, am I right?!

But let’s fast-forward a few hundred years. Some modern Italian authors with name recognition in the United States include Umberto Eco and Elena Ferrante, but who else is taking the Italian reading public by storm? Who else has been translated into English recently and is burning up bookstore shelves? Well, it’s a good thing you decided to drop by:


benniTimeskipper by Stefano Benni, translated by Antony Shugaar (Europa Editions, 2008)

Many coming-of-age stories involve young people learning important life lessons from mistakes or new experiences. Timeskipper is not like these stories. Rather, Benni, known among Italian readers for his satirical style, imagines what would happen if a young boy was given the ability to see into the future/possible futures. This is a tale of innocence versus corruption and the joys of the past versus the anxieties of the present, and the title is pretty cool, too.

Books to Look For (October): Science Fiction

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A Borrowed Man by Gene Wolfe (Tor Books, 304 pages, October 20)







10/15/15

Review: The Boys by Toni Sala


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The Boys by Toni Sala, translated by Mara Faye Lethem (Two Lines Press, 256 pages)


Catalan author Toni Sala won the 2015 Premio de la Critica Catalana for this book, and man oh man does it deserve ALL the prizes.

Think I'm being hyperbolic, hmm? Trust me, after you've read this novel about four interrelated characters and the ways in which economic collapse, the internet, death, and family become intertwined, you'll understand.

Here, Sala introduces us to Ernest (a middle-aged banker), Miqui (an underemployed trucker), Iona (a vet in training), and Nil (a failed artist and sadist). What they all have in common is their connection to the tragic death of two brothers in a car crash outside of Vidreres. These deaths stun the entire village, and questions of land and inheritance haunt everyone who worries about passing down their name and property to their children. After all, as one character explains, during times of economic depression, owning land is everything.

Books to Look For (October): History

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Telegraph History of the World by Gavin Fuller (Aurum Press Ltd, 576 pages, October 15)






10/13/15

Review: Three Moments of an Explosion by China Miéville

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41MTc-YF0ML._SX327_BO1,204,203,200_.jpgThree Moments of an Explosion: Stories by China Miéville (Del Rey, 381 pages)


If you've been following Bookishly Witty on facebook or twitter, you'll know that I'm just a teeny tiny bit obsessed with China Miéville's books.

OKAY, A LOT OBSESSED WHO AM I KIDDING.

Embassytown blew my mind; Perdido Street Station left me stunned (in a good way); and now Three Moments has made me appreciate even more (if that could even be possible) the richness and diversity of Miéville's imagination. Here we have stories about evil burlap sacks and floating icebergs and walking oil rigs and "New Death" and I just can't even with this brilliance.

10/7/15

Books to Look For (October): Literary Fiction

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Death by Water by Kenzaburo Oe (Grove Press, 432 pages, October 6)






9 Banned Books From Across the Globe


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Unfortunately, books are still being banned across the globe, and it’s up to us to know what they are so that we can push back against that ridiculousness. So for Banned Books Week, I give you a (partial) list of banned works of fiction by country (written since 2000). I, for one, will make it a point to read these. 

An Absolutely Serious Analysis of THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR

the_very_hungry_caterpillarThe Very Hungry Caterpillar.

What even is this book.

I mean, yes, it’s about a very hungry caterpillar. He’s so damn hungry, he eats, like, the whole world, and then gets really big and turns into a butterfly the end.


But let’s look more closely at this seemingly innocuous children’s classic. After all, we wouldn’t want to be sending the wrong messages to our children, NOW WOULD WE.

Keep Your E-Reader, Ditch the Fancy Contacts


read-kindleYeah, I know that it’s the end of the 21st century, and I’m aware that a new technology exists in the world of books, but I. Don’t. Care.

So you can take your fancy-schmancy Book Contacts that come loaded with millions of books and that weigh approximately nothing and stick ’em where the sun don’t shine because you’ll have to pry my e-reader out of my cold, dead hands thank you very much.

I mean, why would I want to mess with putting a thin piece of glass in my eye that could easily fall out and get stepped on when I can feel the heft of my e-reader in my hand and smell the delicious plastic and glass aroma when I bring it up to my face??! And what would I put on my shelf if I didn’t have an e-reader? It would look so empty, that shelf. I like when people see my e-reader sitting there, and think about how well-read and cultured I am. Plus, I don’t really feel like I’m reading if I don’t have that tangible device in my hand. Something in my eye, though? Puh-lease.