Even more astonishing than the farsighted and fantastic stories, though, are the covers of the magazines in which those stories could be found. Those editors sure knew what would sell: after all, if I was walking past a newsstand and saw a bright orange-and-red cover with a blue, eight-headed alien on it preparing to devour a terrified lady, I’d plunk down my change in a hurry.
I’ve added some caption commentary that I hope you’ll know is all in good fun. Cause I love sci-fi with a deep, abiding love. But you have to admit- some of these illustrations have jumped many, many sharks.
So here are some of the craziest, weirdest, funkiest (in my opinion) cover illustrations from Golden Age sci-fi magazines.You’re welcome:
Now, I don’t see why the astronaut dudes
are shooting their fiery guns at this friendly alien. He’s SMILING,
after all, am I right? Who shoots a smiling alien? And four against one
is hardly fair.
Um, why is the robot shooting lasers at
the glass jar that’s keeping the man prisoner? Didn’t the robot put the
guy in the glass jar in the first place? And what does the lady think
her fists are going to accomplish against that glass…I would have taken
those heels off, first of all.
I imagine the aliens’ conversation going a
little like this: “Herb, we’re lost. Again.” “Shut up, Agnes, I know
where I’m going.” “But what are those things shooting at us? We’re on
the wrong damn planet, Herb.” “Agnes, just let me drive already!”
Yes, that blond, curvy lady coming out of
the large test tube is a super-scary “monster.” She’s so scary- I mean,
look at the expressions on those men’s faces. Priceless.
“Run!” yelled the fleeting soldiers to one another, “dude’s got a STREETLAMP.”
Wait, are these ships all shooting at one another? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose when you’re going to invade another planet?
Loving that the monster-alien-thing’s
getting its butt kicked by a skimpily-dressed lady and the guy with her
is slinking away like a frightened caterpillar. And are those supposed
to be angry crabs in the foreground?
“Oh
no!” screamed the lady in the brass bra, “the two-headed fish wants my
cool outfit, which I stole from that Wagner opera! Save me, man with a
circular saw!”
All images are from the “Science Fiction, Fantasy, & Weird Fiction” section of Galactic Central.
(first posted on Book Riot 12/5/13)
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